last weekend some friends and i bar hopped around dc. when the rooftop at our regular spot was closed for a private event, we headed to another familiar, eye-candied one. as usual, we caught up with old friends, met new ones and ended the night full of little white receipts from our adventures. there were definitely a few nice things to look at. and i love beautiful things – clothes, food, people, art, etc. i love watching (ask me about that one time i got caught and was cussed out by a lady in oakland). and sometimes i want to go beyond looking. i might want to buy it. or try it on. and others, i might want to get to know it better. so over the weekend when a cutie caught my friends eye and i heard him say, “i like ’em, but i don’t want to keep em around,” i wondered what he meant. i can be reading too much into it. maybe he too, just wanted to see some good eye candy and knew it would never be anything more. but still, i thought what was underneath it.
we all know people who enjoy having people around. they have the best parties, know everybody and can tell you where all the action is. they feed off the energy of others. for some, they need others around. the thought of being alone can be hard. to sit with themselves – their thoughts, ideas, fears and hopes is a struggle. they keep new people around and soon, they’re gone. but is this how human connection goes? and if we “don’t want to keep ’em around,” do we let ’em know it’s a temporary thing? lawd knows i’ve had some fun, fleeting moments. but the most memorable ones have been meaningful. and lasting.
a boy who loves – j. darius greene