ask me who won the women’s basketball championship in 1999 or which country has the most miss universe wins. it was purdue (the first win for a black female head coach) and it’s venezuela with eight (the only country with back to back wins in 08 and 09). popcorn, photography and potatoes are a few of my loves that start with the letter ‘p.’ but my two favorites by far are pat summitt (lady vol for life #LVFL) and pageants. so listen up jiniya, adisyn and alyvia, i’ve got dreams for you. most importantly, i hope you have your own.
team sports build character. you can be the best individually, but as pat said, “you win in life with people.” leaders know this. they know when to step up and they want to be the ones to do it. any good coach knows that tapping into a player’s individual strengths will advance the whole team. pat summit knew this. the best coaching (and halftime speech) i’ve ever seen is tennessee versus unc. down by 8 points with just over five minutes left, pat willed her lady vols to a win and an eventual 7th national championship. she built the program on strong work ethic and is famously quoted as saying, “here’s how i’m going to beat you. i’m going to outwork you. that’s it. that’s all there is to it.” that’s sheer determination. serena knows this and so did candace parker. and while pat passed in 2016, that tradition still permeates the lady vol program and every player who commits believes that. i want my nieces to have such prowess. to hurl themselves into everything and know they’re only competing against themselves in all they do. and like pat reminded shannon bobbitt in a game after a stupid foul, “this isn’t about you.” to always remember her gifts, but know they’re greater than her and have far reaching impact.
i want my niece to have the grace and sophistication of leila lopes and the charisma of wendy fitzwilliam – confidently, and authentically beautiful. like every miss universe, she’ll know how to thrive within systems by drawing others to her…and without compromise. i say, “pageant girls always win.” ask halle berry, pryanka chopra or even oprah winfrey. they have grace and grit. they compete (and want to) at the highest level and i want my niece to admire those traits.
yes, i want my niece to compete, i want her smart, gritty, alluring and charming…and i want her to win. but if she’s none of these things, i’m fine. if she digs a ditch, she’s going to be the best! if she says “my pleasure” after your order, she’ll truly mean it. or if she strives to save the world with her hands and heart, she..will…do it. in pat’s speech in that same unc game, she said, “you can’t be afraid to go out and compete and do whatever it takes. we gotta be competitive. we gotta have communication. but we must have composure.” so yes, i want her fearless and to seek challenges. i’m reminded of that chimamanda adichie quote from from her “we should all be feminists” speech about society teaching girls to shrink themselves. a lady vol never shrinks, neither does miss universe. and my niece won’t either.
so…for my niece:
– know when to compete
– never settle
– know when to compromise
– know love
a boy who loves – j. darius greene
Love this!!! This is why we do what we do as well.